“Why Conservatives and Liberals Think I Am Weird”
Where does this “conservative versus liberal” stuff come from?
Well, let me think…
I guess most of this stuff comes from the “Russia and Germany” stuff.
Politicians often talk about Russia and politicians often talk about Germany.
From reading this, readers will probably ask me,
“Are you German?" or “Are you Russian?”
Let me answer these questions with kindness and honesty.
So…
Am I like a German?
Or,
Am I like a Russian?
I won’t give my readers too many details; but, my general “answer” is…
Both.
My mother did have grandparents and relatives from Russia.
My father did have grandparents and relatives from Germany.
So, there you have it!
I am kind of like a German and I am kind of like a Russian.
But, really, I am a born American.
Sorry.
I hope readers understand my family enough for this.
I know readers have their assumptions about “family” and “friends” and such.
But, I’m telling the truth.
I am kind of like a German and I am kind of like a Russian.
Hey, tough luck, my reader.
I know you want a “side” of politics in your favor.
Well, to put it bluntly…
I am a silly goose who has a bear for a mother and a wolf for a father.
Now, do not stop reading yet!
I’m really telling the truth about all this.
I am a silly goose.
But, my mother was a bear and my father was a wolf.
And, they were both “the only loves of their lives”.
How did my parents have a romantic, devotional conversation?
Well, here’s the passionate metaphor:
My mom was a bear.
My dad was a wolf.
They loved each other very much and they loved arguing with each other all the time.
I will give my own neutral rhyme about my parents to give you a visual idea.
Here it goes…
My mom was barking.
My dad was howling.
My mom was huffing.
My dad was whimpering.
My mom was growling.
My dad was snarling.
My mom was woofing.
My dad was yelping.
My mom was eating honey.
My dad was eating bacon.
My mom was doing puzzles.
My dad was doing camping.
My mom was drinking hot tea with lemon.
My dad was drinking a cold can of wine.
My mom was very accepting of Bill Clinton as American President.
My dad was very accepting of Andrew Jackson as American President.
My mom was doing expensive hospital work.
My dad was doing thrifty retail work.
My mom was full of intelligence.
My dad was full of energy.
My mom was interrupting distant cousins.
My dad was bothering distant cousins.
My mom was wide.
My dad was tall.
My mom was cheerful.
My dad was despicable.
My mom was positive.
My dad was negative.
My mom was agreeable.
My dad was disagreeable.
My mom was complimenting my dad.
My dad was encouraging my mom.
My mom was a reviewer of fashion.
My dad was a critic of fashion.
My mom was always more than happy to help me out.
My dad was always having problems with my sadness.
My mom was jolly when she could be.
My dad was funny when he could be.
My mom really needed a fur coat for winter.
My dad really needed a new lamp for winter.
My mom was afraid of swimming.
My dad was afraid of flying.
My mom was listening to George Carlin at one of her schools.
My dad was listening to Richard Nixon at one of his schools.
My mom was adorable and sweet.
My dad was terrible and neat.
My mom was open to new ideas.
My dad was open to old ideas.
My mom was an excellent student of chemistry.
My dad was an excellent student of history.
My mom was full of wonder.
My dad was full of humor.
My mom was cleaning up the house.
My dad was raiding the kitchen.
My mom was learning about country music.
My dad was cracking about country music.
My mom was a little stupid sometimes.
My dad was a little annoying sometimes.
My mom would give herself undetectable giggles.
My dad would give himself explosive laughter.
My mom was squeaking.
My dad was moaning.
So, there you have it.
I am kind of like a German and I am kind of like a Russian.
Any questions?
No?
Oh well.
I guess conservatives and liberals do not “like” my poetry very much anymore.
That’s okay!
At least you understand me better.
You will just need to catch up with my latest comedy if you ever need to.
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