Poem- “Something for My Mental”

“Something for My Mental”

I write poetry for a good reason.

It helps me get well from a great number of mental diseases.

Sometimes, readers on the internet do not believe me.

But, let me repeat myself and tell you who I am…

I have schizophrenia, depression, psychosis, mood disorder, and attention deficit.

You can probably guess what’s wrong with me from reading those words.

Of course, nobody’s human condition is crystal clear.

There’s always a problem with a human being.

We need to remember that humans eat both meat and plants.

Or, if they do not, they may also take food that is “not real food”.

A human being in our world will have so many problems in life.

You never see a dog go to therapy.

But, for me, therapy is what my life is about now.

It makes me nervous.

I write my poetry to overcome a large amount of difficulty in my mind.

The more I try to “listen” to TV, the more I discover how crazy I am.

I may not seem crazy at first.

You may even say, “There’s nothing wrong with you.”

That’s the most common comment from people with this stereotype against me.

They will probably always say, “Just focus and do it right.”

To me, my mood disorder makes me wonder if common sense has any value.

Okay… common sense…

Can I go to the bathroom now?

I’m not really interested in common sense.

I always find common sense in every restaurant I visit for the break of day.

Common sense to me is like some guy I’ve never met before who almost says nothing.

Okay… common sense…

Can you give me change?

People can be so boring in California.

Los Angeles in particular often has the bad habit of talking like a robot.

Is Artificial Intelligence more important to greedy bankers than my schizophrenia?

I feel pretty offended from all this.

Making matters worse, so many readers pretend to read my literature and say:

“You are not sick.”

“You will get well.”

“There’s light at the end of the tunnel.”

“You are thinking too much about it.”

“Do not believe other people.”

“I know what it is.”

“Why are you angry?”

“You have lost any passion that exists in the world.”

“Your interest is not my concern.”

Blah, blah, blah… misinformation!

My mood disorder often tricks people I talk to.

People may believe I am something I never believe of myself to be.

They do not understand schizophrenia.

In case readers do not know, schizophrenia is almost just like a military judgement.

I can be very restrictive with my logic and behavior.

Sometimes, I will spend 8 hours in bed while crying all night.

Earth is full of so many surprises that I will forget to even count them all.

Most women I meet tell me to be a man.

But, from their ignorance of psychology, they do not know that I am abnormal.

Most men in California are not big fans of intelligence.

Especially, if it’s abnormal intelligence, they freak out and walk away from me.

I am honest and responsible in my daily life.

But, often, as is the case, people will see “something” in me that is… “far out”.

Anything in a mental illness that is “far out” will even give experts a caution to dear.

It’s very concerning for all of us.

Yes, I do believe in God.

Atheism and theism are only prejudices that I simply ignore.

Here’s my summary of their conversation:

THEIST: It’s here! It’s really here!

ATHEIST: No! It’s not here! It’s really not here!

THEIST: Hey! You know it’s here. It’s always here.

ATHEIST: No, you know it’s not here. It’s never here at all.

THEIST: There is God.

ATHEIST: There is no God.

THEIST: We have money.

ATHEIST: We do not have money.

THEIST: The sun shines like gold.

ATHEIST: The sun sucks.

THEIST: Come on, you know it’s here. You need to believe me.

ATHEIST: No! It’s not here. I don’t believe you.

THEIST: Do you believe in love?

ATHEIST: I don’t care. I’m busy. I have things to do.

THEIST: Where do you keep your things?

ATHEIST: My things are everywhere!

My God.

Holy…

This conversation is boring!

But, for some reason, commonplace philosophers only have this conversation.

They pretend the exact same conversation with fancy, irrelevant vocabulary.

It drives me nuts.

So, I avoid a lot of news on TV.

It’s usually not good for my mental health.

I can hear too many voices from just hearing one particular line of news.

Some of my dreams at night are too bizarre for a feature presentation.

So, I try to imagine some of my thoughts into literature of poetry and reviews.

It’s not easy.

Am I missing passion in my life?

It depends, although I doubt it.

My mood disorder is like a broken telephone pole.

People will ring and bring delivery of awkward nonsense home.

Remember…

I am writing this poem for my mental health.

I need to write this poem.

Sure, it’s free verse.

Free verse usually does not rhyme or have much exact construction of text.

Do you know what’s funny?

I do read a lot of “famous poems” on professional poetry websites.

And, to be honest…

Usually, when I read a “famous poem” with accuracy, I sound like an idiot.

For this reason, when I write MY POETRY, I avoid most of the “famous” bullshit.

Come on!

When I can’t read a famous poem, how is somebody else going to read it?

I am not stuck in an elevator with stupid jazz.

I know where I am!

Why do they call these “famous poems” classics when nobody understands them?

How long do we need to read these famous classics before we confess,

“Poetry like this probably just doesn’t work and never has.”

Yeah, I know.

I am being a little harsh.

But, like, seriously!

How long do I need to read a stupid book before donating it to Goodwill?

They should be able to enjoy my goodwill without me!

As a general rule, it’s better to write a boring source of understanding.

Nobody should fall for the trick of “looking for pretty words” and what nonsense.

Real readers do not always understand “pretty words” for the sakes of beauty.

We also need meaning for the beauty.

At least my mental is here for my own personal consideration and share to the public.

Thank you for reading this poem today.

https://www.deviantart.com/gameuniverso/art/Something-for-My-Mental-1006966824