“General Plumbing”
A man walked in the neighborhood. He reached a stranger’s house, knocking on the door just to be polite and said, “Hello! May I use your bathroom?” The neighbor was shocked and threatened to call the police if this guy didn’t go away for his privacy; so, the man ran off and took a plunger with him down the street. That invader’s name was Lamb- he was just visiting the neighborhood and had this real desire to use everybody’s bathrooms. Nothing made sense to him on that dangerous situation. Washing his hands wasn’t a big deal and his plumbing business required him to illustrate what good, old-fashioned plumbing could do with the right tools. Eventually the police showed up and arrived at the scene. Officers asked the neighbor what happened and the neighbor got really irritated and blushed in the face. “Didn’t you see the plumbing equipment?” “No, officer!” “Then we’ll be on our way back to the station.” Soon the entire neighborhood received the same call from Lamb the plumber. He got in some houses and demonstrated great effects with his brand new plumbing equipment, and, he got a really good show out of it, although many houses were guarded by dogs and he ran away with his spoon. Why did some neighbors put their dogs out when they were so rough and crazy in all the barking and gnawing? A black widow bit him in the back while he was sleeping that night thinking about all those neighbors and the funny looks on their faces. “Wow! This spider is creepy!” Cows roamed on the mountain-side filled with grass and dandelions. Every now and then, he thought of those poor cows and wondered how delicious hamburgers were. “Are cows ham? I’m confused.” Then, he dozed off and woke up in the morning for spaghetti and soda. A newspaper covered the breakfast table: black, white, and red all over. His wife was having a funny dream about the drooling vegetable from a hospital downtown years back. Maybe he saw enough marbles in every painting bought from the store across the street next to Rite Aid. People were too funny with him. Later this morning he brought in packages from folks in that neighborhood he visited the other day and wrapped them up for a glass factory in Virginia. Parts included what was familiar to a bathroom in a typical story: lids, panels, and professionally-made tools and tubes pulled apart by force during holiday rush. “Hey, honey?” “Yes dear.” “I think there’s more than enough equipment to fit those poles down the lane across from a stationary wagon.” “Do your customers wish for plumbing underground or in the sewer line?” “Not sure.” “Well, you know where this goes dear.” “I can’t. I’m wearing the wrong pants.” “But it’s a basic procedure on a customer’s property.” “Yes, but I might see tools where I belong without them.”
https://www.deviantart.com/gameuniverso/art/General-Plumbing-826351941
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