Videogame Review, Connect Four for the Phillips CD-i
Imposter. This game is totally a void. Everything in the playing field is grey except for the dull checkers. Remember the classic game? Well, it’s not here. Outcome is as bland as ice and I think even my ice in the freezer looks more interesting than this. Copyright for this game is 1991; it shows. Pardon my short words on the ideas behind the program until you realize also there’s just nothing here, only a little rainbow and flickering heroes in just one color for each identity and destination within the boring, grey rungs. No kidding! It’s very grey, shows Atari-like graphics, and while gameplay is intact, there’s no substance. Maybe a strict parent would like Connect Four despite the fact it’s the complete opposite of Battleship on the Phillips CD-i. Explosions don’t exist in this game like the classic game is supposed to have. Pieces basically pile up in near silence and that ring-collapsing effect isn’t here, so I’m trying to be nice in the sense of basis but insisting on more special effects. A typical reviewer would give this game a thumbs up because of its gameplay yet for me Connect Four has to be its own complete package of which I know dramatic effects are possible; just ask Laser Lords. Sure, Laser Lords has oddball philosophy which interrupts its artistic expression, but its special effects are more than needed for Connect Four since Connect Four ought to be about exploding checkers I’m not seeing here. Just dream of exploding checkers: pieces going off the hook, landing on the ground or table where your opponent cries for mercy. How can this game be anything when there’s practically nothing? No, I’m not being rough, I’m contemplating. Game designers are often a troublesome breed, for, by making unrealistic effects beyond all measure during incredible work, they love what’s done because errors are made to let them perform the visual principles indicated on TV or monitor. Love is at work here on no dramatic thing. With the graphics so bare here on the CD-i, it’s an absolute ripoff. You might as well play Tic-Tac Toe on paper! Even the paper games usually reek of badness due to the uncreative American minds around us at every turn, nook, and cranny. I’d make my paper into actual X’s and O’s at the very least. Many engineers for this game obviously don’t understand that people aren’t going to be having all this money to buy so much cheap, mediocre programs. Seriously, we don’t live in a button factory with unlimited food and normally work for little. As Gordon Lightfoot would say, your “job… is to give more than you get” (“All the Lovely Ladies”). Things you get in Connect Four here appeal to minimalism without showing the bias in artistic creation and hence your controller just connects to progress as opposed to adventure. Come on, this game should be wild and crazy like the traditional board game children play on interconnecting checkers upon those familiar rungs and rounded holes for to see. My game here is about as good as one of those free, horrible PC games you get like solitaire or spike bombs. However I get on a computer is when such games are ignored since often I’m simply forced to have them in spite of my own personal tastes. General populations ought to have adorable paintings hung on the walls instead of getting a CD-i game like this one. Funny how I should remark on this game as though Earth depends on it and yet that’s my appeal to Phillips and other efficient, roundabout, electronic companies: make it homework but leave it art. You might not know this but “art” hasn’t always been about rainbows and solid grey. It’s also about exhibiting rather than showing, demonstrating rather than telling, acting rather than doing… the list goes on. Are you a hater of the Phillips CD-i? Well, I hate to burst your Nintendo bubble, but if you’re looking for what’s the most absolute in gaming, you’ll have to start digging. A big house is recommended and I suggest organizing greatness, not alphabets and partial star ratings.
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| Copyright Alex Julian 2018 |
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