Videogame Review, BurgerTime for the Nintendo Entertainment System (w/ Nintendo Wii Console and Wii Classic Controller)
It’s a funny game. Keep something in mind. Smoking, and, fast food, are not the same. Fast food is an eating activity for specific junk food. “Smoking” is not “eating”. Read a Chemistry book! Smoking, in particular, is a negative breathing activity with ash, fire, and smoke. Eating is not smoking; smoking is not eating. Period! Now that I’ve got that out of the way we can review BurgerTime with real science and true honesty. BurgerTime is not about smoking. BurgerTime is about a fantasy for fast food. You don’t even see smoke in this game. It’s a classic game from the past. I’m sorry if the past really offends some liberals out there. Too bad! I enjoy this game. You don’t exactly get lung cancer from eating a hamburger. And, hamburger is not ham. Let’s correct stupid people who think otherwise. Besides, BurgerTime does get pretty silly and nonsensical. In the game, you are a cook who must climb ladders into various skyscrapers and land hamburgers into their potholes like stepping stones. That’s my metaphor with description of BurgerTime. It’s a funny game! Of course, I’m sure BurgerTime only seems less ridiculous because it’s an old game. What if a movie gets made about BurgerTime? If so, we would have to see actors dress like “evil food” and burn down bridges with a kitchen professional who cooks with style. Walking over lettuce, walking over hamburger, and walking over buns does take practice. You can dodge the enemies with a great variety of moves in action. My Wii Classic controller works much, much better. The Nintendo Wii remote doesn’t always work. Or, if the Nintendo Wii remote does work, it works with less quality and the Wii Classic controller is very necessary for true experience with retro gaming. Do you think I’m vulgar? Well, I’m not vulgar. I’m expressing my joy with fast food and fast food videogames. I’m sorry if that offends health fanatics. You can chew grass if you don’t want to play this game. I’m not a cow. I hope you’re not a cow. Who knows? Maybe you really like eating grass. Maybe you are a cow. You won’t find goat’s milk in BurgerTime; you won’t find tacos in BurgerTime; you won’t find sushi in BurgerTime; etc. But you can easily make a new BurgerTime game with goat’s milk, tacos, and sushi. Why not? Do not be afraid. I don’t eat cows. I eat hamburgers. There’s a big difference! I don’t say, “I eat pigs.” I say, “I eat pork.” See? There is a big difference! I’m not really running in fields of grass and eating every cow I can find. Fast food is a professional art form of cooking. You don’t exactly need healthy food to be professional. BurgerTime is a fantasy about cooking weight and weight before cooking. Hamburgers are delicious! Who cares if there’s an offensive sausage who likes to chase me into lettuce and buns? I know how to cook! To cook hamburgers in BurgerTime you must run into fields of lettuce, fields of hamburger, and fields of fresh bread. By running in the fields, you make the fields collapse and make hot, juicy sandwiches. I know. I’m lying again. This is a fantasy. It’s not real junk food. Junk food can still be very real if you consider the ingredients and natural selections of farming and harvest. Remember a phrase about evolution. The phrase is:
“Survival of the fittest.”
You know what that means? It also means:
‘Survival of profits for fast food and junk food.’
Or:
‘Survival of intelligent, hard-working fast food workers.’
I see fat people. Are you fat? Well, enjoy BurgerTime. This game will make you fat. It’s a law of nature! If you play games, you get fat. No! Just kidding! Enjoy the game.
https://www.deviantart.com/gameuniverso/art/Review-of-BurgerTime-Wii-Classic-Controller-900231538
No comments:
Post a Comment