Videogame Review, Arcade Essentials for the Nintendo Wii (Download)

Videogame Review, Arcade Essentials for the Nintendo Wii (Download)

Someone took a nice recipe out of the oven too early.  There’s a lot to enjoy, but we can’t enjoy the features without feeling the negative effects more severely.  Now we don’t want to watch everything on the TV screen every moment we’re into the games because the bare essentials indicate sharp points of contention where mastery has to involve pinpoint accuracy.  Difficulty is watered down for the Wii motion control games and my guess is the programming studio wanted novice gamers to lead themselves in action; of course this is ridiculous because we’ve already been holding TV remotes in our hand over and over over the years and the Wii remote’s motion-sensing revolves on waving with limbs like what we would’ve done for a long, long time.  Even direction pad games deserve better attention: often I’m dying just because I’m bored from getting into each level until my arms could wish for just desserts.  Visuals?  Well, there’s this notion programmed into the game by the visual that pink elephants with impersonal, plain faces can dance around the deep vacuum of space while your ship haunts the corners through different selection methods on game type and thus game difficulty.  Each game has its separate difficulty.  And, the games are mostly knock-offs of old arcade machines.  Shooting in the Galaga-inspired game includes dancing pink elephants, yellow bosses with poor facial treatment, and exclusive power-ups- all handled on an increasing difficulty that should end on itself later.  If you want to call another game in this package “Wii Motion Missile Command” you may be on to something.  The Wii motion controls here are as wonderful, brilliant, and fantastic as those joystick controls for the Atari 5200 console’s Missile Command; if only the difficulty ever increased enough, this missile game would be a smasher within the means of impersonal-looking futures: humorous eyes, bare jaws, dancing green elephants (okay, they’re not REALLY elephants!), and constant supplies of life-inducing mechanics.  Players of the Bubble Bobble series will be grossly offended by the botched-up version of its marble-shooting puzzle game.  But what do gamers expect?  Everything in Arcade Essentials would’ve been shown in sample pictures and short animations on the online channels like Wii’s and multiple computers’.  I’m also sure that there’s more impersonal values a programmer can add to a game that Arcade Essentials basically ignores or doesn’t cherish through additional scenes and game-to-game taglines.  Games like Qix and Galaga are reimagined into bare essentials where power-ups play a vital role in the “future” of gameplay.  How do we know if reviewers who disliked this Wii game completely actually disliked the original arcade machine counterparts, too?  This collection definitely speaks of inexperience I’ve observed from CBS in playing Gorf on the Atari 5200 console.  You know nerds and gamers and even programmers in the studios like to be in a romantic, subtle trance which leads to their fault on mistakes approved of out of social etiquette and, for that, I give this collection nothing back except a thank you note for intriguing my philosophy on arcade classics.  Stupid pink elephants!

https://youtu.be/2_l6XaX-ZR4

Videogame Review, Tennis for the Nintendo Entertainment System (Nintendo Wii U)

Videogame Review, Tennis for the Nintendo Entertainment System (Nintendo Wii U)

This sports game is hilarious but I don’t think Nintendo intended that effect.  You’ll start off with some guys in the tennis-playing field where Mario blows his whistle as referee every now and then; in fact, Mario, as silly as he looks, pales in comparison to the tennis players.  Running by your opponent is either snail-paced or ridiculously turbo, as if either his feet are glued or stomping on weasels or being activated by a hidden machine.  You know the tennis rules.  However, take a look at your controlled player in the field.  Doesn’t it sound like a machine gun is roaring with ammunition every time he runs?  That’s… silly.  And my opponent.  I don’t know why both he and I are struggling to hit the ball on easy and why he’s beating my racket performance in a notch of difficulty or two higher.  Or, consider the field.  The balls appear to dart up and down, bigger or smaller, at random.  When I hit a ball it’s like the ball just suddenly grows and shrinks with no apparent rhyme or reason.  And Mario looks so different from his usual get-out that you probably won’t even notice who he is, so, with where I’m going there’s tennis around the bend where I am to an opponent’s streak of dysfunctions: my opponent is either lame, or too smart for his own good.  There’s also too much of this racket-not-working-for-me thing here going on.  At times me and my opponent will take turns in failure to communicate where the functions display the ball’s heated mess against our two rackets, or tools for tennis which might as well be baseball bats instead.  Well, I’ve been playing at this game for a while and it seems the program is sort of an accident with its presentation concerning motion to video and beyond.  Visual styles for sports games come in lots of packages.  In Tennis you’ll see a crowd of blue faces, or participants in viewership, who sit by the tennis court while the gameplay itself looks embarrassing by a landslide.  Working with the ball as it zips back and forth between its constant random size changes gets really hard since the players themselves are just as unreliable for the camera on my TV for Tennis.  Now I know what some of you readers are thinking… you’re thinking, “Why should I listen to this guy?  I can buy the game myself.”  That may be true.  Buying a game is very easy.  Only if you have the money!  But what’s going to happen after I’ve reviewed 8,000 games 40 years later?  Are you going to buy ALL of those games yourself?  Well, maybe… if you’re swimming in cash and living in a golden palace.  So let my reviews teach you something about craft, art, and performance.  My words get tiresome sometimes even to me.  But you’re going to blow up your bank account if you decide to buy every single, little game out there.  Do you want a tennis game that’s a parody by Nintendo’s fault on it or should you listen to critics (like me) as they give lists and recommendations for the top, best games?  Would you like to save money instead of having regrets?  I rest my case on Tennis.  Don’t agree?  Okay, fine!  Buy 8,000 games!  You’ll have to face the truth sooner or later… even when my name’s not Uncle Sam!

Drawing Photo- "Behind the Wall"

This is very conceptual.  I've wanted to put in some kind of display for a wall I had in mind while sleeping and dreaming.  Contrasts of light and shadow are made for this abstraction, but accidentally.  lol

https://www.deviantart.com/gameuniverso/art/Behind-the-Wall-783382733

Videogame Review, Yoshi for the Nintendo Entertainment System (Nintendo Wii U)

Videogame Review, Yoshi for the Nintendo Entertainment System (Nintendo Wii U)

Everything can be understood about this game in 15 minutes.  Yoshi is a flick one can expect from a nickelodeon machine since the whole game is very short and is designed with cute, adorable creatures.  It takes pride for Nintendo to display ghosts and monsters in sweet colors that help make horror within Mario’s tough adventure more pleasant and entertaining, as the plumber this time around captures animals on platters while eventually letting Yoshi’s eggs hatch.  Yoshi is a tiny, green dinosaur in this four-element puzzle.  Elements include ghosts, goombas, squids, and flower traps which add more than enough tension in the later levels for Nintendo fans devoted to the cause over the years; in fact, Yoshi is one of the most intense button mashers you’ll find in Nintendo’s library of classics to date.  Like I said everything can be understood in 15 minutes.  There’s something about mashing buttons really quickly that suggests Yoshi’s relationship with a gamer who enjoys multitasking.  Multitasking in of itself has been under scrutiny in the viewpoints of companies like TripAdvisor and eBay, but it’s also been praised for by McDonald’s and Walmart.  By the time Yoshi was released in the early 90’s Sears was no longer the giant over markets like the business enterprise used to be; according to my dad, Sears’ decline in the marketplace was probably due to their lack of shopping carts in remote areas across the U.S.A., and as such, people became willing to use shopping carts at their competing markets for better opportunities in multitasking.  Whatever that short burst is for multitasking must reveal the moral quality in Yoshi: rushed, hurried, and bigoted.  Just trying to push buttons really rapidly makes my fingers twist along their sides until I’m ready to pounce on my Wii U gamepad.  Good thing I’m not actually using one of those small, original controllers for the Nintendo Entertainment System because I may actually end up breaking something.  Videogame companies do often have the strange habit of forcing gamers to treat their own controllers less nicely and more roughly and I’m not sure if Nintendo has realized the implications of our current marketplace with Wii U and Switch still turning heads.  Mode A and Mode B in 1st Player Mode are very similar in regards to Yoshi’s backpacking Mario across the fairway into a mushroom’s hiding spot where the dinosaur’s long tongue may grab onto treasures or fortunes with Mario and Yoshi’s goodness of heart typical to everyday kids programs on Nickelodeon and other children’s networks- smiles, lots of smiles, and happy faces all over things with sweet colors.  I don’t want to give away too much information about my family due to the internet privacy issue; however, I will say that we have relatives and friends who work in different television studios and make their living doing small tasks in craft, art, and performance, most of which will attract little serious interest and will be part of humanity’s disappearance in nature during its constant birthdays and surprises.  Yoshi isn’t a game with the depth of Super Mario Bros. and will be completed in a short time for gamers who know their stuff like I do.  Even Vanguard for the Atari 5200 console has a lot more depth than Yoshi.  Still, if you’re looking for adorable design, brilliance, and feel, Yoshi will leave you with a happy face on… and not like Joker’s in the Batman comic series.

Drawing Photo- "Sonic the Hedgehog" (by me)

Drawing Photo- "Sonic the Hedgehog" (by me)

Hold on!  Remember, Sonic the Hedgehog used to just be some image in an artist's head for Sega.  The image could've been drawn in any way, shape, or form within reason.  Sonic is a pixel, a graphic, an image which comes from an artist's mind, and an artist can create his own little world, right?  So here's my version of Sonic the Hedgehog that I dreamed of last night.  My head was swimming and I was going through some kind of watery vision in which Sonic jumped around like a jelly bean and while drawing this Sega character I realized that my mind itself was filled with paradoxes: visuals on top of visuals, graphics on top of graphics, hands where feet were, feet where hands were, head where tail was, etc.  My drawing here is a reminder to Sonic "fans" that we don't need to draw him exactly as he would've been drawn in the beginning since by having extreme fundamentalism over the imaginary concept we also deny our minds, thoughts, and feelings for the places in true art quality.  Call this historical reference, but I'm very proud of my work and hope you guys draw things from your mind as well as draw things from within and from without.

https://www.deviantart.com/gameuniverso/art/Sonic-the-Hedgehog-783250560

Videogame Review, Mario Party 5 for the Nintendo Gamecube (w/ Refurbished Gamecube Controller from GameStop)

Videogame Review, Mario Party 5 for the Nintendo Gamecube (w/ Refurbished Gamecube Controller from GameStop)

It’s okay if Princess Peach needs both men and women in her life.  In fact, a woman who doesn’t need any man in her life might as well not even be a woman.  That’s because femininity is a point of contrast towards masculinity and femininity: girls to boys, women to men, mothers to fathers, sisters to brothers, grannies to grampsies, etc.  We can’t afford the disappearance of gender.  And, neither can we just assume Nintendo knows what they’re talking about with a phrase like “normal difficulty”.  Do they mean normal results of difficulty or normal gameplay of difficulty, or both?  I believe in the case of Mario Party 5 they mean normal results of difficulty since opponents at different moments beat me to the finish line even as it’s moving while I’m still running.  But who am I to tell you anything about our game?  People will have to see what I mean before they hear what I mean for guaranteed evidence, or nature, that can be experienced through the senses: bright lights, shocking noise, absence of smell, hot power supply, aftertaste of my favorite drink… these things add up to what’s in store for our lives.  You may not be sure for whatever I tell you because I may see something, tell you about it, and you can mistakingly assume you see what I see and believe every word that comes right out of my mouth.  How can you actually see my mouth on this website?  Authorship is a blindman’s test.  No one is in my living room right now- they don’t see the weak pirate course, they don’t smell the heat of plastic from my machine, they don’t press buttons with my fingers, they don’t hear the awful celebration music for Eldstar’s winner, they don’t spit where I’m licking my own tooth… no, not at all!  Videogame reviews aren’t the true nature surrounding us.  As such I have to be careful where I’m lending my words of wisdom to, for, by leaving it to speech and referring to my personal nature, I may accidentally give someone enough eye candy- enough text, enough hot air, enough political influences- for him or her to excuse bad vibes running through his or her system of beliefs, morals, and customs.  YouTube videos are available for Mario Party 5; that helps.  But even those videos don’t show you the future of YOU in the game.  For one thing you’re not likely to see that B and A can be hard to press together at the same time.  Videos may not show that.  Also, looking at someone else’s gameplay for Mario Party 5 can be like attendance to a sports event where only the masterminds play.  We’re not in this review for very long and I’m sure you’re getting the drift.  I can’t say the Gamecube has the most helpful innovation for controllers just yet due to the ongoing games I’m considering for purchase so I may give clarity to a product’s quality instead of unreliable guesswork.  There’s hundreds of Gamecube games out there although I’m sure Mario Party 5 falls into one of those “bad sequel” categories.  Eldstar himself isn’t a philosopher here; I don’t care if he has a mustache.  Only a prejudiced star like him would even utter the impossible theory that Bowser is completely evil unto himself and others; in fact, Bowser’s forms of gameplay towards the end represent a lot of what Mario Party 5 is mostly missing: challenge!      

https://youtu.be/I36zxy69ObM

Videogame Review, Family Go-Kart Racing for the Nintendo Wii

Videogame Review, Family Go-Kart Racing for the Nintendo Wii

“Please, no, no, stop!  It hurts!  No!  Go this way!  HELP!!!”  This was a failing game from the Nintendo Wii’s shopping channel.  I’ve tried playing this game for over an hour and it really, really hurts.  Everything is sloppy, poor, and uninteresting.  My arms felt like I was getting a needle shot on them over and over again just for turning… and turning… and turning… my arms twisted all around and hurting like the Devil in me.  Difficulty?  Levels?  Yeah right!  Going through with this racing game is like taking a dive off the road when my limbs aren’t telling my car to do such a thing and the more I play it the faster I’m likely to crash, off and on, into various obstacles with no fault on my part.  Sorry for beginning this review with such excitement.  But it’s true, my arms hurt like the Devil; often I’m trying to turn here and there across curves and unforeseen circumstances until I’m actually screaming in pain: hurt biceps, worn wrists, poor butter fingers.  The courses appear to be marbles of some kind and my kart typically falls off cliffs and ledges while I’m in attempt of comprehension for the difference between easy and hard; in fact, it’s hard to tell where we’re beginning and where we’re ending.  Gramps is smiling over Mommy.  Maybe it’s because she’s got nice boobs or something… his smile looks evil and unnatural.  Even the computer opponents are struggling to find their pathways against the notion of racing upon other opponents and I feel like an opponent on part to their vanity.  I’m telling the truth.  My arms… really… HURT!  What this racing game in its instructions tries to tell gamers is, “We know you’re not really using a steering wheel, but we’d like you to pretend the Wii remote is a steering wheel, or else the game will not work.”  Bullshit!  I’ve been holding my Wii remote like a steering wheel only when I can!  This isn’t a steering wheel; it’s a Wii remote that needs its own support and programming or else we’ll be constantly fighting with ourselves in the air while attempting to find the imaginary pole the “steering wheel” is supposed to be in.  Nobody tested this game.  No one out there really tried to figure out how this game worked; IGN panned it pretty quickly and for reasons I guarantee to be correct.  Various downloads for the Nintendo Wii usually came in mysterious packages.  In fact, so many of the games would be way too short for Nintendo or anybody else at the time to provide demos for.  The idea was that it’d be a lot more better for someone to pay for each tiny, little game as budget permits it; however, because so many of the games are very short, $5 here, $5 there, you’ve got a whole game split into pieces to gather up as long as budget permits those tidbits.  5 Arcade Gems is short and sweet.  I like that collection.  But Family Go-Kart Racing isn’t a game at all.  It’s like some kind of emulator that’s only fun for a programmer who won’t release it to the public.  Does that make sense?  Yeah!  Sometimes programmers just have fun stuff only for themselves: no publicity, complete, total privacy.  But if the “fun stuff” becomes public and doesn’t live up to professional standards then what we’ve got is something worse than a failure- Family Go-Kart is incomplete.

Videogame Review, Mortal Kombat II for the Nintendo Gameboy (w/ Gameboy Advance)

Videogame Review, Mortal Kombat II for the Nintendo Gameboy (w/ Gameboy Advance)

Shapes that are programmed in game can be an excuse for filling things up with color.  Out of the whole Mortal Kombat series for the Nintendo Gameboy, Mortal Kombat II exhibits the most strength in presentation, look, and feel.  Why?  Because I can play it!  This is another case of what I’d like to call the pepper shaker situation: at first I thought there was too much shakiness and cheesiness in Mortal Kombat 1 and 3, and then Mortal Kombat 2 here displays much of the same with better refinement; in other words, it’s the most mastered title from the MK series for the Gameboy portable.  Although the original gameplay doesn’t have blood in it there’s combat which speaks in loud volumes in funny, dramatic ways typical to horrible B-movies.  Of course my theory on B-movies is that if we love them way more than A-movies, don’t we, then, have B and A grades all mixed up?  Partial ratings are flawed in that reviewers can pass along items even if there’s something fishy about them.  At times, it’s serious.  I know Mortal Kombat 3 for the Gameboy can be like finding a needle in the haystack, but, if my eye lands on the needle and my eyes burst with flame, how does that help?  At times reviewers get so desperate in finding a nice thing about the videogame being reviewed that they’ll have developed awful habits by the time experience has been in the most powers there can be for the game.  Mortal Kombat 2 is cheesy, dorky, and ridiculous.  And yet there’s serious power exhibited on this Gameboy pak- have gamers ever seen a villain suck the life-force out of innocent victims?  A fatality like that on the Gameboy looks fantastic since Mortal Kombat 2 gives perfect controls and perfect mechanics for the intended B-movie presentation.  Mortal Kombat 1 was an expensive joke on the Gameboy.  Honestly, in retrospect of lots of old Gameboy games and what they were priced for in the markets during the 90’s, the prices kids like me way back then paid for would now be considered politically incorrect.  Quite often some cheap game would be released on the Gameboy for a high price whereas today a similar cheap game would only sell for $2.99 on the Nintendo Switch.  (Via online shopping channel.)  But trust me on this MK game, okay?  Fatalities are a lot of fun to see on this Gameboy version of Mortal Kombat 2.  As a bonus, the limited color schemes for the Gameboy Advance make Reptile and Scorpion look like approachable, delightful relatives.  Everything is pretty well managed even when I’m only vaguely familiar with the specific move combination sets.  Courses are extremely limited, music is extremely limited; however, what we see is what we get; the quality assumed is the quality received, and there’s no negative issues I can find with this MK 2 version except that maybe, just maybe, fighting women look hot with dangerous feminine objects.  In case you’re wondering… no, you won’t see Rarity from “My Little Pony” wearing a fighter’s dress on this program, and thank God!   

Videogame Review, BalanceBlox for the Nintendo Switch (Home and Mobile Controls)

Videogame Review, BalanceBlox for the Nintendo Switch (Home and Mobile Controls)

This game will really appetize gamers for only a couple bucks.  Home controls arguably become nicer than mobile controls with the Switch since the movement controls get closer to the action buttons.  Blocks have to be lanced out in a grid of multiple grids while everything is shifting or freezing on a sharp end, gradually when the program has more analog than your controller.  I don’t recommend using the left thumbstick and instead suggest that you handle the direction buttons because the left thumbstick gets flimsy and out of control for this arcade puzzle game.  Beats/bursts are guaranteed.  You may also let the cell phone play music while the program is experienced on skills and needed action between shades of weight and outsourced balance.  “Every block has its own weight” is a figurative statement which crosses the line from idiom to metaphor along the side within defensed instructions.  Or, whatever is seen on TV or Switch is perfectly as is; so, the gamer must figure out the physics, and I’m happy to report a positive buy here since the challenge practically goes through the roof as more and more blocks get added to the balance: a balance that can fail, fall to the ground, or become heated towards the collapse.  The general grid has two halves to it that must relate to each other better or else the whole balance shifts at an undesired extreme (or is it desired?) as far as difficulty reigns supreme with a player’s own input on speed of gameplay in the minimalist, sharp fields.  Visionary art is simplistic yet pure, optional but fantastic, and the more I’ve played into this arcade influence the better my influence for family, friends, and public can be.  Of course there’s even the idea of individual preparations from a single player and different players may take turns on local schedule.  BalanceBlox has just one life for a player for each game, kind of like Tetris, and the beats and bursts come and go on personality favors wondered at.  I get so nervous about switching over to separated grids inside the whole system of balance against energy and imagination doubted on or recognized within means of skillful feat, as it is, or as it’s not, depending on factors in gravity on proper weight-scales created or destroyed overtime from management and block-to-block discrimination.  Color is a factor, size is a factor, weight is a factor, delete is a factor, addition is a factor- all through the falling blocks where beauty is absorbed on the simplicity programmed without mouth-watering gloss typical to steaming masochists.  None of the art is an insult on someone else’s.  It’s quite simply a puzzle game that goes on and on in attractive goals provided for, but not provided from, accidental judgements and/or tall orders.  As long as the player continues this Switch game he or she will be responsible for the speed of gaming- a bit from him- or herself and a bit from the program.  I can’t say the game is very luxurious because it’s very cheap and plays on imaginary principles that are as satisfying as gold but less than excessive.  Oh, and watch out for the A button… if you press it too many times while trying to make the balance work out the game can suddenly restart from where the high score isn’t recognized or thought of for firm judgement.

Videogame Review, 5 Arcade Gems for the Nintendo Wii (Wii Remote and Wii Nunchuck)

Videogame Review, 5 Arcade Gems for the Nintendo Wii (Wii Remote and Wii Nunchuck)

There’s a game in here called Jungle Pizza Delivery.  What’s it about?  Let me tell you- a pizza delivery guy is out in the jungle and he needs to deliver a pizza to someone’s home in the South American mountains.  And suddenly a group of angry natives start chasing the poor guy all over the mountains!  But that’s not all: he has to avoid flying vultures, running pigs, water logs, and other obstacles so he can make it to the customer’s house for his pizza delivery job in the jungle.  A fantasy like this… is vulgar.  While it’s a lot of fun getting the pizza delivery guy over logs and pigs there’s some connection with racism here; or, the attitude a racist has that he must do something extremely stupid (ex. pizza delivery) in order to be swept away from the running, enraged natives with stereotypical outfits and masks and spears and such.  But it IS very funny.  Other games in this 5-game collection include a knight’s round table, a child’s racing car toy, a galactic spaceship, and lumberjacks (or boobs) in the woods.  Gameplay gets really intense and I’m finding my limbs twisting and turning in front of the TV where all the fun and magic happens.  Visuals are top-top-notch also.  Our 4 knights are dressed in strong-looking armor with flashing, brilliant colors in red and blue and yellow and green.  The collection supports multiplayer but the 1st player mode will put someone in red unless another color is preferred via player menu screen- point, push, and pull.  My nunchuck is used as a motion controller in of itself for launching axes in the mountainscape’s air and having a knight’s jumps made on the grey, brick-to-brick tower.  Wii remotes can still be used in motion control for mallets, cursors, and co-nunchuck running with the pizza delivery guy.  Knights use mallets and axemen use cursors.  Visuals are rich, expanded, and mastered into nice presentation.  In fact I like the graphics on 5 Arcade Gems better than the graphics on Mario Party 5 for the Nintendo Gamecube.  Nintendo Wii consoles are still Gamecube-like.  People who are on a budget should try purchasing more games on less consoles and buy less consoles for games since a machine, or videogame console, can pile up to a lot of money.  5 Arcade Gems is a download from the online shopping channel.  This Wii game doesn’t have as much of an everlasting effect as… say… Gradius 2 for the TurboGrafx-16 console on the Nintendo Wii.  Even the pizza delivery game in the jungle or wilderness could only add so much time for your schedule and yet it serves as a great work of art which illustrates, in visually gross metaphors, the havoc raised by native tribes against innocent people.  I don’t know… that pizza delivery guy is suspicious.  What’s he doing in the jungle?  Who orders pizza in the wilderness, Tarzan?  Okay I think you’ve gotten the idea.  It’s pretty stupid, fun, and silly.  Were we to really dislike this Wii game for its insane cartoon worlds we might as well dismiss Duck Hunt on the NES, or Hot Wheels in the market, or Battleship with friends.

Note:  A picture is shown of the pizza delivery guys as they’re running away from the chaotic natives.  Isn’t that funny?  Running/jumping/dodging controls are perfect for Wii arcade times.

Videogame Review, Mario Party 5 for the Nintendo Gamecube (w/ Super Smash Bros. Ultimate Gamecube Controller)

Videogame Review, Mario Party 5 for the Nintendo Gamecube (w/ Super Smash Bros. Ultimate Gamecube Controller)

I’m kind of using a Switch controller for this Mario Party game because it’s a more recent Gamecube controller designed for Smash Bros. on the Switch console.  The colors we see in Mario Party 5 are intended better for media like Pool Paradise or the Austin Powers series, so, of course I’m finding plenty to be less assiduous on.  Different shades between those mini-games add up to a presentation that’s jaded with difficulty when given a chaotic flavor and the game can be totaled up to modest skill when its program feels like it; on laughs which can be expressed on this Mario Party sequel I can agree somewhat with the intelligence behind Game Informer magazine on all this.  Calling the ball of chain (or dog) over to the finish line can be a frustrating experience since either he can’t see you across a patch in the garden or, since you have to get near to bring him anywhere near the finish, he runs over you.  When I’m playing games in the clouds I feel blinded by light.  Also, there’s lack of balance on the button-pressing matches and I was just getting started early; further on, my button presses felt uncomfortable due to the controller’s fragile state for a technological device.  Do I really have to chance it and possibly break the controller to pass the next level?  Man!  I’m wrestling more with my Gamecube controller for this game than I was wrestling with my Atari 5200 controller for Pitfall.  Depth/camera issues are apparent the longer you get into the party game which is like Sorry! if it’s given extensions on courses, weapons, and general design.  At times the camera will zoom in on the winner and I’m wondering what the failing party is doing.  Everything has a light touch.  Waluigi was traveling in a vortex somewhere off and on and I didn’t know where he was; it’s like an emulator sort of thing when the program counts on it while issuing an excuse for partying, even if there’s destruction and tornados, too.  After my opponents fell into the vortex and presumably died I felt really sad inside for being the surviving winner: everything was bright, everything sparkled, and I was the only one left.  Reviewers pretty much panned this Mario Party game for being too similar to past Mario Party games.  Well, I’d like to completely agree with them, but the depression and anxiety I get out of this board-game series haven’t been so persistent; that means I’m not always happy, and I’m not always pleased.  Mapping problems get on the negative side when I’m trying to see who has coins for my big ball of chain to rob and the map camera fails to display golden coin/golden star statistics.  Monopoly (the old board game) has similar problems as well.  Jerkiness and glitches can be observed from plenty of games and I’m finding out more and more about errors implanted to video.  I’m fine with the Nintendo Gamecube controller; however, someone who has played with the same video game controller for a long time will have to adjust to the Gamecube controller due to its severe innovation.  I play any controller; I don’t care that much.  While much is going for this Mario Party sequel I’m discovering enough elements, values, and details to its mini-games (including the prejudiced story mode) which suggest to me another one of those mixed bags.  I worked in fast-food restaurants and know how this works- an order is taken, an order is rushed, and then there’s problems about missing stuff.  Videogame companies can be like fast-food restaurants.  The public doesn’t help: they’ll complain about missing stuff, they’ll complain about poor stuff, they’ll complain about good stuff.

Poem- "Southwest United States"

“Southwest United States”

What could a tree hear between its leaves?

A skull looks back where his eyes disappeared.

My cactus kneels across the yard, like its flowery razor.

The horse walks over a shadow by one door into blue skin.

Queen plays out of a forgotten Chevrolet.

Everybody is parked near the beaming route: sunshine, painted white lines.

Wine bottles inside show labels with funny jokers.

I’m wearing a veteran ring.  That’s wrong.

Who cares?

Keeping Social Security matters.

Mesquite turkey gets sharp on my tongue.

Some pizza delivery thinks 7 is a lucky number.

Right, and I’m Santa relaxing in Hawaii!

Beer steins are okay for the moment.

Maggie poops on the rug.

Wendy reminds me of Wendy’s, so what’s this L.A. area code on my phone?

Just add coins to the pickle jar; I’ll keep your money safe.

Lava lamps?  Hey, I’ve been burning up at Spencer’s.

Cashiers at 7-Eleven may be low territory.

“Playa del Sol”… yeah, I get it.

Republicans are so patient on Earth.

Usually I have to buy Coca-Cola to remember the name.

Guys in my neighborhood give false weather reports.

Weather Channel is nice in Big Bear.

Easy listening rolls off the tube, or, I need to comb.

Vintage items come from dead people.

Dad watches zombies, mom watches nothing.

A whole bunch of junk is on TV.

My parents go camping on weekends sometimes.

You see, the line at In-N-Out is an understatement.

Santa Anita Park is around the bend.

Me?  I’m only here for liquor, you don’t know me.

https://www.poemhunter.com/poem/southwest-united-states/

Videogame Review, Galaga ’90 for the TurboGrafx-16 (w/ Nintendo Wii Console)

Videogame Review, Galaga ’90 for the TurboGrafx-16 (w/ Nintendo Wii Console)

The game is better seen right off my TV.  YouTube videos sometimes don’t quite put in the real deal on stuff and tend to blur out the action in video games.  But why do so many artists follow villains and dismiss critics?  Do I look like an alien to you?  Maybe I’m an alien to creatures from outer space, but come on!  At least Galaga ’90 speaks in volumes; in fact, the program reveals the sounds of ammunition in loops the better the gamer is.  When playing Galaga ’90 from the standpoint of a novice the game may make you cry from all the beauty shown in the alien-dancing stage and even the courses themselves ought to challenge a novice into some intense warfare.  Why?  Well, aliens are strange-looking!  That’s a stereotype in our current fashion with the world- a search for strange-looking creatures while trying to justify individual preparations of uniqueness amongst ourselves.  In videogame fashion we have players who believe they have good habits.  Of course, those good habits could just be bad habits at higher levels.  Galaga ’90 is more violent than its older original games; so, what happens?  I’ll tell you what happens.  Players/gamers around the world watch lots of TV over the years; every morning, every day, every night, they watch TV.  This includes violence and drama.  And videogame companies need to appeal to the crowd as the years pass, right, so what do they do?  A business in video games can increase the violence and drama; not only that, but generation after generation players/gamers get used to the violence and drama more and more and videogame companies keep increasing the violence and drama in their games more and more, and what we have here is a failure to communicate.  People have become so obsessed about violence and drama that they become numb to those old forms of nature and get needy in requiring superior forms; so, the good habits- to have a better taste, to have more experience, to have greater power, to receive more for the money- are really bad habits at higher levels.  A gamer can be at fault for his personal estimates because the elements of time and space can turn out even further from the standpoint of common sense.  Eventually, the scales in weight will change as importance is pending on cue to powerful input and output, society out of reach of itself where thoughts are counted and not quite recognized.  Galaga ’90 does explode in color; Galaga ’90 does magnify the onslaught; Galaga ’90 does clarify the grossness.  But at what cost?  So we could forget about the original Galaga?  So we could keep on forgetting the past and leap into the unknown future?  Maybe the future isn’t so “unknown” in this case.  We have to eventually know when enough is enough: we don’t want crimes against us, we don’t want fights against us, we don’t want betrayal against us, etc.  And so many gamers/players these days are so afraid of themselves and others that they are fooled by created art into thinking that we are monsters over one another; and, as such, more privacy will be demanded, more fairness will be demanded, more rules will be demanded, until we are nothing more than a divided kingdom as one fits God.  Don’t get me wrong.  Galaga ’90 does have its influences and plenty of details or values are built up into their unique presentation; however, when I’m becoming really good at this shooter and I can’t even hear my own thoughts between the lasers someone has to shake me out of the ice or break it for good.

https://youtu.be/L_E1nrbtQEE

Videogame Review, Old School Racer 2 for the Nintendo Switch (Home and Portable Controllers)

Videogame Review, Old School Racer 2 for the Nintendo Switch (Home and Portable Controllers)

As an old school gamer I find the name misleading somewhat.  This game doesn’t play like the Colecovision, the Intellivision, the Atari 7800, the Nintendo Entertainment System… etc.  What this racing game does do though is run on a video system in which the bike’s shaky mechanics come into play where worlds seem to collide literally.  But how does a biker have power over the land enough to be able to control earthquakes and rock collisions and such?  Is he a god, an airplane, a picnic basket?  His helmet looks like another face on top of those bulging eyes.  Old School Racer 2 is often about time trials and less about racing; however, the time trial ghosts are only remnants of the past: bikes without wheels and drivers in faded spiritual forms.  Difficulty is easy for the first 30 or so courses and the other half (filling in about 60+ courses officially) is for mindless experts.  Options are rather disappointing this time around.  There’s not a lot of hand-holding, there’s not a lot of possible gameplay changes, and, more importantly, I can’t find any true arcade mode where the points could actually matter should I ever get them.  Of course it’s apparent the game isn’t realistic and I’m wondering if Riddlersoft Games intended a sort of viable fantasy.  Controls in this case aren’t very innovative; going between thumbstick and direction buttons is fun, but I’m also wondering if there could’ve been more speed boosts or some kind of button-function for landing on the ground sooner.  General design means that players will have to cancel out an unproductive attitude if they wish to gather golden tickets and race to the finish although it gets hard to tell where we’re beginning and where we’re ending.  A lot of high definition only covers the modest visual design.  Each race is a beat, a short burst that requires timing in skill despite the fact I haven’t found much effect from turning wheels around.  I guess Riddlersoft calls this Switch game “retro” or whatever because it’s in 2D; that may be true, but it’s also true that gamers of past games get choosy about old programs within means of infantilism.  3D in certain forms is retro now.  At times I’ll find myself immature and yell out “I told you I had to go to the bathroom!” during the game.  What high definition can do is make a bike rider’s clothes look more sharp and fluttery than real life so I can give something of a remark on its features in video.  “Switching” between handheld and home controls gets awkward at times due to the elements related to the Nintendo Switch: a tiny power button, a touch screen that only does some things, and the flimsy joycons.  Usually I think of Power Rangers when I put parts together for controller type.  I would’ve wished I could drift better in the game; even going up loopholes in a bike at the highest speed can be only barely possible within moments on end.  Earning medals is a matter of choosing the right vehicle after dealing with a weaker bike before heading to the starting line, and a race won’t start until you decide to start even if the repetitive motion of starting a race all over again becomes tiresome.  Old School Racer 2 is only $7.99.

https://youtu.be/2SHhYXr3Rz8

Fable- “Open the Hallway”

“Open the Hallway”

A liver was hanging on the wall another day.  Oh, the horror of it.  It had been dark inside the house all day and the vacuum of space was deep red in the air, slowly, but certain, keeping itself away from time and history.  The liver used to be a DJ named Larry; he was a lovely little liver and played with his doorbell each time a hairy woman came to visit.  Of course, the guest seemed to be a hairy woman to him, but in fact, a horrible criminal had been going by the liver lately to poke his eye in a little bit, into the liver’s flesh and skin, happy flesh and skin, everything in proportion of time and space for the criminal.  A music man like him just needed to hang a liver on the wall or else he’d be fired by the hairy woman in the liver’s mind.  Don’t get me wrong.  The liver didn’t always used to be a liver.  No!  He used to be a man of principle: rules, laws, costume, fortune behind him where the mansion left a truck.  And now he was in a criminal’s personal jail cell.  He’d be rotting away bit by bit every day and there were dark crinkles all over his jaded smile of torture.  Poor liver.  Now he would have to be an organ again!  His teeth had rotted in the small process of paper-thin digestion each day the longer he remained a liver.  His body was full of the rottenness, full, as it were, until the end of his days when a hairy woman crawled by and ate his eyes off.

https://www.poemhunter.com/poem/open-the-hallway/