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Sunday, March 8, 2020

Parody- “Evil Goo”

“Evil Goo”

An evil scientist walks into New York City.  He uses a ray gun, turning all metal eventually, slowly into goo.  The Statue of Liberty becomes the Statue of Goo. Every car, every boat, every train, every bus turn into goo.  People in New York begin screaming as suddenly their cars turn into goo; some of them, if lucky, swim in the pink fluid to safety, but lampposts and metal signs have also turned into a volume of hot, steaming elastic liquid.  Soon the streets all over the city are filled with you-know-what.  Airplanes fall as they turn into goo; boats sink as they turn into goo; bridges collapse as they turn into goo.  The entire city is translated into a chaotic mess.  Many people have drowned in the goo while others find the goo rather delicious.  All the riders in each train shout for help as everything turns into glowing, burning quantities of stuff.  Forget the police- their weapons have turned into goo.  You’ll hear people yelling in the Statue of Liberty as it slowly, but surely, turns into a huge pocket of slime.  Coins (pennies, dimes, quarters, and nickels) are now eventually obsolete technology- it’s all goo!  Computers all over the city turn into goo and computer companies panic during the melting phase of alchemy reversed.  Wedding rings are melting in jewelry stores and lots of necklaces transition into elastic remnants of mass, and, the dressers must wipe them off in fear.  Eyeglasses and helmets are melting on the soldiers and even the army tanks can only shoot pellets of goo.  Entire buildings and skyscrapers gush with unrefined waterfalls of mysterious fluid.  Iron Man becomes a man in goo, the Batmobile is gooey and slimy, motorcycles brake in the streets and melt down into nothing but disgraced puddles… it’s really a mess.  All of New York’s best silverware softly dribbles under a melting point and restaurant patrons begin complaining about the bad service- ovens turn into goo, sinks turn into goo, chairs turn into goo, etc.  People all over the city are drowning in “mud”.  Then a heroic, innocent scientist walks into New York City.  He defeats the evil scientist, uses his personal ray gun, and turns all former metal into the metallic originals again.  New York soon lives in peace once more and people live happily ever after.  (Except for the New Yorkers who ate goo.  Now they’re in the hospital.)

https://www.deviantart.com/gameuniverso/art/Evil-Goo-833102981

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