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Friday, September 28, 2018

Videogame Review, Elf Bowling for the PC (Original PC Game)


Videogame Review, Elf Bowling for the PC (Original PC Game)

I believe we used to have Windows 98.  This review is for the original game I played on Burnett in Ventura when the 2000s millennium was getting to appear.  Computers from then are now all trash but at least I have fond memories of Elf Bowling, a bowling game with grossness that’s supposed to be funny and spiritual as far as comedy is concerned and it showed best and played best on a computer we had with dial-up internet.  Santa wants to bowl and keep the elves at bay.  Everything went hand in hand with the old PC mouse controller because it was a clicker of sorts that could wind up programs through picturesque movements when fate permitted it.  More to the mouse, I say.  The little “arrow” on the computer screen would be used to point at the bowling radar.  You’d point at one of the numerous, orange-lighted points on the bowling radar before Santa is able to bowl and hit the right mouse button.  A narrative of this nature isn’t easy to fulfill.  I have had to do lots of activities in the house when trying to build up to the point of remembering Elf Bowling enough to share a golden star of approval by all means of cunning, despicable humor.  Poor elves!  The men in green constantly get run over by bowling balls due to their decision of revolting against Santa’s capitalism in the North Pole.  And the sequel to Elf Bowling called Elf Bowling 2 gives some pointers on wages and office facilities which, under Santa’s authority and holy gaze, may be poor if we’re to believe the elves.  Would you believe a cussing elf?  But the mouse-pointer controls worked fantastically!  It was fun to hit a symbol glowing in orange to witness Santa’s athleticism in the bowling world.  There’s a version of Elf Bowling on the Nintendo DS if you’re interested in peaking at a hint of its greatness, albeit in partial form.  A general expanse located on the bowling lane was filled with snow for a reindeer who’d pardon the action unless you accidentally bumped him on the head with a bowling ball.  Frogs and rabbits made appearances.  Our computer was white and revealed its professional formula not only through the Windows 98 logo but also by sheer chance of well-tuned dial-up internet.  Solitaire was free and wasn’t as buggy compared to Solitaire on my Galaxy phone.  Modern technology makes sense if there’s enough verified power, understandable problems, and terrific elegance of programming; otherwise, it’s just buggy technology with an inflated price-tag.  This review I’m participating in makes use of what I learned in 20+ years of education and, more thoughtfully, political activists shouldn’t look at my work as “average” since that’d suggest my good teachers were common and forgettable.  And Elf Bowling worked like a charm!  It’s Santa’s charm, heart, and game.  Maybe we can come up with better emulators for the original PC game from the late-90s, but then again, that may require us to keep using the Windows 98 that Microsoft has excused for the modern, buggy technology that’s exquisite to mistakes while improving to higher graphical standards.  


   

https://youtu.be/GzoNfW3liaE

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