Videogame Review, Mario Party 5 for the Nintendo Gamecube (w/ Refurbished Gamecube Controller from GameStop)
It’s okay if Princess Peach needs both men and women in her life. In fact, a woman who doesn’t need any man in her life might as well not even be a woman. That’s because femininity is a point of contrast towards masculinity and femininity: girls to boys, women to men, mothers to fathers, sisters to brothers, grannies to grampsies, etc. We can’t afford the disappearance of gender. And, neither can we just assume Nintendo knows what they’re talking about with a phrase like “normal difficulty”. Do they mean normal results of difficulty or normal gameplay of difficulty, or both? I believe in the case of Mario Party 5 they mean normal results of difficulty since opponents at different moments beat me to the finish line even as it’s moving while I’m still running. But who am I to tell you anything about our game? People will have to see what I mean before they hear what I mean for guaranteed evidence, or nature, that can be experienced through the senses: bright lights, shocking noise, absence of smell, hot power supply, aftertaste of my favorite drink… these things add up to what’s in store for our lives. You may not be sure for whatever I tell you because I may see something, tell you about it, and you can mistakingly assume you see what I see and believe every word that comes right out of my mouth. How can you actually see my mouth on this website? Authorship is a blindman’s test. No one is in my living room right now- they don’t see the weak pirate course, they don’t smell the heat of plastic from my machine, they don’t press buttons with my fingers, they don’t hear the awful celebration music for Eldstar’s winner, they don’t spit where I’m licking my own tooth… no, not at all! Videogame reviews aren’t the true nature surrounding us. As such I have to be careful where I’m lending my words of wisdom to, for, by leaving it to speech and referring to my personal nature, I may accidentally give someone enough eye candy- enough text, enough hot air, enough political influences- for him or her to excuse bad vibes running through his or her system of beliefs, morals, and customs. YouTube videos are available for Mario Party 5; that helps. But even those videos don’t show you the future of YOU in the game. For one thing you’re not likely to see that B and A can be hard to press together at the same time. Videos may not show that. Also, looking at someone else’s gameplay for Mario Party 5 can be like attendance to a sports event where only the masterminds play. We’re not in this review for very long and I’m sure you’re getting the drift. I can’t say the Gamecube has the most helpful innovation for controllers just yet due to the ongoing games I’m considering for purchase so I may give clarity to a product’s quality instead of unreliable guesswork. There’s hundreds of Gamecube games out there although I’m sure Mario Party 5 falls into one of those “bad sequel” categories. Eldstar himself isn’t a philosopher here; I don’t care if he has a mustache. Only a prejudiced star like him would even utter the impossible theory that Bowser is completely evil unto himself and others; in fact, Bowser’s forms of gameplay towards the end represent a lot of what Mario Party 5 is mostly missing: challenge!
https://youtu.be/I36zxy69ObM
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